Confessions of a tired potter

I can't sleep. That is unusual considering that I have been spending far too many hours at work on the house. It is taking shape. The shake siding is up, I finished most of the electrical tonight, the plumbing should be done tomorrow and the HVAC will be done by the weekend. Oh, and the insulation begins tomorrow as soon as the inspection is taken care of. A lot has happened in the past few weeks, considering that my house was flooded on Father's Day due to my lack of any roof. I am excited to have it done so I can get back to my clay work.

I'm pretty sure this is a project I will never do again, at least not the way I am doing it. It may not be so bad if I subbed out more of the work or if it wasn't my house, or if I wasn't living with my awesome in-laws. But as it is, I am beat. I am tired. I have lost 20 pounds. I dream about pulling electrical wires, nailing stubborn nails, framing the houses, etc, etc. I would rather be dreaming about other things. So, after this is done, I plan to hang up the tool belt and get working again on that next book and spend more time with my kids and just make pots. I have a lot to do, but it is great to have something to look forward to. The chaos is decreasing and you are always welcome to stop by. I still have visitors everyday. I will look forward to seeing you. Cheers.

Ode to Fire!

The virgin firing of the new kiln took place ten days ago. It was a bisque firing. That was followed two days later with another bisque firing. Today, I completed my sixth firing and my fourth glaze firings and to my great relief, it is firing amazingly well. The glazes look great. The pots are turning out beautifully. I have fire again, and it is wonderful.

I went a whole 6 weeks without electricity in the studio. It has made me appreciate the little things in life. This remodel thing has been anything but convenient, but I have enjoyed nearly every aspect of it. It has been a long time since I have worked less than 14 hours in a day, except Sundays, which are always a welcome relief from the week's work. The house is really beginning to take shape. I was promised shingles would be on the roof by Friday. We won't make it. But we do have 3 walls on the third floor and it is beginning to be a little easier to imagine what this is going to look like when it is all done. Already I am a bit in shock by how tall it is, but the finishes and the roofing will hopefully make it look a little squattier. is that a word?

Normally, this week every year, I am stressed out of my mind, frantically trying to get ready for the Utah Arts Festival. This year, I decided to do the best I could and let things happen. I just returned from setting up for this years show and I am feeling calm, easy and peaceful. I have done my best and I can't stress over what I don't have. This house project has forced me to find times of meditation among the chaos, and it has been good medicine. Who knew that sweeping the floor could be such great meditation? I have sought and found a spiritual aspect of all my daily activities and that feels good.

This Sunday, we stopped by the house after church to check on the house and were shocked to find our basement full of water and the the ceiling leaking badly from all the rain. We had covered the floors with tarps, but that doesn't mean much when you receive a months worth of rain in 16 hours. We made a couple of calls and within a half hours had nearly two dozen people come to help clean up the mess and throw a makeshift roof on our house. So the drywall ceiling was a total loss, but we got most of our stuff out of harms way and all was well. And now we have easier access to the stuff in the ceiling. This has been a blessing in many ways and all is well.

So, the Arts Festival runs all weekend downtown Salt Lake City at Library Square. I am in booth 126. Hours are from noon to 11pm, starting tomorrow. Hope to see you this weekend. Keep your chin up-- above the clouds, the sun is always shining.

Living on reds, vitamin C and Rogaine

The title of this blog is kind of a twist on some lyrics from a Grateful Dead song. The reds, in this case would refer to my gatorade, which I really prefer lemon lime. The vitamin C is self explanatory and the Rogaine is necessary for all the hair I've been pulling out.

Have you ever pulled off the roof of your house and then wondered if you might be stupid. I have. Tuesday, my roof came off and the last of it left for the city dump yesterday--all 4 layers of shingles (2 wooden shake layers and 2 layers of asphalt shingles). Needless to say, the load was very heavy. It took 3 dump trucks loaded to the gills to haul it all off. The dump said it weighed in at 11 tons! Its crazy how much stuff weighs. I don't think my addition will weigh anything close to that--at least not anything above the concrete.

I have learned to enjoy the meditation of hard, physical labor. Pottery is hard work too, but these past 4 1/2 weeks have really been the hardest I have ever worked in my life. I have bruises and scratches over my whole body to prove it. A friend of mine is out of work and so I have hired him to help me with this project. We have spent the last three weeks building concrete forms, moving dirt, digging holes, grading dirt, ripping the roof off, making lots of mistakes, working on basic plumbing, etc, etc. I'm glad he has come to help me because I have been able to have someone to blame for most of my mistakes. Things are moving along. Framing begins Monday if all goes as planned. Tomorrow will be consumed with finishing the kiln, stripping concrete forms and making new ones for the bond beam on top of our walls. As it turns out, this project is kicking my butt. Today was the first day that I wondered what the heck I was thinking. I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

Throughout all of this chaos, people have continued to drop by and visit the studio. It has been nice to have so many visitors that have both questioned my sanity and insured me that the worst is over. I'm not entirely sure that is true. A portion of the roof fell off on Tuesday and hit the gas meter, breaking the pipes in a couple of locations. But a nice, unemployed plumber came over today and put it all back together, better than before. It only cost money, right. Over all, we are still under budget, which is exciting, but I find myself bracing for disaster. Rains yesterday were a little scary. This morning found me trying to avoid the puddles on top of the blue tarps we nailed to the hardwood floors. It will get better. Hopefully we will have some better cover by the time the the rains come again. The art festival starts in less than two weeks and I am freaking out. Pickins this year may be slim, depending on how this weekends firing goes. This is the fourth Kiln I have built, but the first on with these configurations. I worked on the floor tonight until I could not longer see my tools in the darkness. Tomorrow I will organize the chimney stack. Saturday I hope to do a bisque fire. I have said a lot of very earnest and sincere prayers and hope all will be well. Wish me luck.

Past the Point of No Return

No, I'm not in Hell, but there have been days where I have felt like I might be. After ten years of planning, scrimping and saving all our pennies, we have finally done it. We have ripped apart our house and are in the midst of putting it all back together. The kiln--gone. The front porch--gone. The back porch--gone, gone, gone. We poured 26 cubic yards of concrete on Saturday to form the new footings for the addition. Lynnette, my very patient wife, will finally get the new kitchen I promised her eleven years ago when we bought the place. Since that time, we have dug out the basement, built the studio, mosaiced the gazeebo, and now, we are doing the mother of all overhauls. It is mostly exciting, except when it rains 17 days in a row. I've been wondering lately why I don't just move to Seattle--there certainly wouldn't be any less rain.

In the midst of my complaints last week about the weather and the delays it was forcing upon my project, I was hit in the head with a big slice of perspective. I realized I'm a wuss. I have a house, and though it is rather in a strange state at the present time, at least it and its contents aren't scattered across the state after tornado force winds. I am tired of the rain, but if that is all I have to deal with, I am happy for it, no matter the delays. Perspective seems to change a lot of things and most of these are lessons I find myself revisiting often and I tend to forget.

I have not been writing, but I have been thinking about writing and in many ways, at least for me, that is equally important. I have found that in the quiet of the jack hammer and skill saw, I am finding the answers that I need for the story that is coming together in my head--if not on the paper. But I am taking notes and I am anxious to get this project done so I can get back to my writing. Pottery has also been on hold for the past three weeks, but after a weekend show at the Cottonwood Club, I realized the stock I thought I had set aside for the Utah Arts Festival next month will not last until then, so I got back to work today, making more garden art and platter. I also picked up the ceramic fiber for the new kiln which I hope to install tomorrow, bringing me one step closer to having a kiln again.

I am not sure why I waited so long to finish this kiln. I built it last fall, at least the frame for it, and it has done little but collect dust since then. Perhaps I am still dealing with fear of the flame--something no potter should have. I built my last kiln over ten years ago and it took me almost a full year to get it to fire the way I wanted it to. I know more now, but each kiln in different and this new one will be significantly smaller than my last one, enabling me to fire more frequently and do more test fires and more glass--or so the plan goes. So, here's to fear, and trying to overcome it. It seems my life is a never ending battle with the fear mongers inside my soul. Somedays I think I'm winning, but you never know.

As in the past, I enjoy having people visit the studio, but because of the chaos that is my current life, please call ahead to make sure I am around. 801-883-0146. I can't wait to show you the finished product. Cheers and Viva Niederbipp!

Mother's Day Comes but once a year, but the open house continues

It was great to see so many of you this last weekend at the studio. Thanks for coming to visit Niederbipp and take some treasures home to your house, or mom's. Many have been emailing and calling to see if I will be around this week so they might continue to shop. The simple answer is yes and no.

We are moving out of our house this week so we can begin our long awaited house remodel. So, I will for sure be around every morning as I have one more firing to complete before we move the kiln and I need to be glazing and firing in the a.m. But I will also be around much of afternoon as well, though likely not as regularly, as I will be moving things to the in-laws where we will be living. The long story short, Call Me! especially if you are coming from any distance. I still have lots of flowers and flower pots and garden art and bowls, mugs, platters, tiles, etc, so give me a call and we can see what we can do about being at the same place at the right time. Oh, and I also have all three books in stock. 801-883-0146. Leave a message as we will be checking our messages several times a day so we don't miss you. Viva Niederbipp! and Happy Mother's Day.

Mother's Day Open House Coming Soon!

So, it might be kind of hard to see, but I am writing this blog to announce the upcoming Mother's Day Open House and Sale,

April 28, 29, 30

9 am to 5 pm

At my studio, 1150 East 800 South

Salt Lake City, Utah 84102

I have not updated my blog for several weeks because, in part, I have been crazy busy getting ready for this open house. I will have lots of pottery including bowls, mugs, journey jars, planters, lots of garden art and lots of other fun things.

Eleven years ago, when we purchased our home, I promised Lynnette we would remodel the old kitchen. For years we scrimped and saved to set aside funds to do this. Well, instead of getting a kitchen, two years ago, I spent our savings on printing the first 1500 copies of Remembering Isaac, hoping the money would someday be returned so we could do the kitchen project. There were many days that I wondered if the books weren't the stupidest financial decision I ever made. But slowly, the money began to come back in. I have learned the lessons of casting one's bread upon the waters. We are in need of a new roof, too, so we have reasoned that if we are going to go to the expense of taking off the four layers of shingles that are up there, we might as well finish the house like we would like, so the roof is coming off and a master bedroom/ office is going up on top. We will be chopping into the house right after Mother's Day if all goes as planned. We will be living with Lynnette's folks while this construction is going on--something we anticipate taking several months to compete. When we are done, we will be having an open house to show you all the tile work I have been working on for years.

I say this now because after Mother's Day weekend, I will not be working in the studio regularly until the project is complete. I will still be here everyday and will likely be working with clay every day too, but I am the general contractor for my house project and the thought of living with the in-laws has given me a lot of motivation to get things rolling as quickly as we can. So, I will still be available by appointment, but for at least the first two months, the house will be the priority. I have been working hard to get a lot of pottery made and set aside for the arts festival which will take place at the end of June, but this summer is going to be an adventure. Come and see the "before" so you can appreciate the "after."

Call me if you would like to come before or after the normal show hours. Otherwise, I will hope to see you in two weeks. Cheers 801-883-0146

The Horror! The Horror! Free shards!

I had a total Jake moment today, and most of yesterday, and a big part of Tuesday. I suppose it all started on Tuesday night. I went out to the kiln to turn it off after the firing had been going for 11 hours. I had just checked it 45 minutes before and cone 9 was falling nicely. (Potters use pyrometric cones to determine duration of temperature. The cones are made of the same ingredients as the glazes and therefore melt and bend over when the temperature has been reached. These are viewed through a small hole in the door called the Peep Hole. ) Anyway, I anticipated that cone 10 or 11 would be down, but as I checked the peep hole, I saw nothing but the back of the kiln. My heart sunk. This meant that something went terribly wrong because just 45 minutes earlier I could see the cones and a bunch of the pots through the same hole. This is the kind of thing that conjures up all the swear words I know and a few more that get made up out of desperation.

I went around to the back side of the kiln to where the burner ports are and looked into the kiln to see bricks, potshards and broken shelves everywhere. I turned off the kiln and walked away, so stunned I couldn't even cuss. My mind began to review everything that was in there--the hours--the pots--the waste. The worst thing was not knowing what, if anything, might make it through. Besides the pottery, there were also the shelves--every kiln shelf I owned was in that kiln because I had was firing a lot of tiles and tiles take up a lot of shelf space.

I had been working on tiles for my home remodel. I must have spent close to a hundred hours over the last two months working on those tiles. Over 100 6" tiles were my biggest concern. I had spent more than 20 hours glazing these and they were going to be amazing--lots of color, with glass, very cool. You can't open a hot kiln, so I had to wait and wait and wait for the kiln to cool down. I finally cracked it open last night before I headed to Scouts. The front row of shelves was leaning against the door and I had to place a barrel in front of the door to keep all the stuff from spilling out because it was still too hot for me to touch, even with leather gloves.

This morning, my mom came over to help me with the unload. It was devastating. All of the glass on the tiles ran terribly, sealing the tiles to the kiln shelves and pouring onto other pieces. I lost 50 bowls, many of which had been a special order that was supposed to ship out tomorrow. I lost thousands of dollars worth of tiles and every shelf was either destroyed or badly damaged. In all, I figure it was close to a $5ooo disaster. I spent the day grinding off the shelves I think I can salvage. The rest of it went to the dumpster.

So, here's the good news! I had two bowls survive and they were at the very bottom. Also, I have a lot of really beautiful shards, so if any of you are working on a mosaic project and would like some lovely shards, my garbage day isn't till Monday, so if you want them, come on over before then. I think I might take some and stick them in my rock tumbler to see what I can come up with. Maybe I can invent a new line of jewelry.

Why did this happen? I have no idea. It couldn't have happened at a worse possible time in the firing process. This has happened a couple of times before over the years, each of them nearly as devastating. I have made a smaller kiln which I hope to complete soon so if this happens again, I will only lose have as much stuff.

On days like this, I have to remember, it's only dirt. I still have my health and a beautiful family, and I have more clay. I feel awful about the waste, but it could have been worse--it could have torn the kiln apart. Tonight I feel like maybe the universe is trying to tell me that I need to be writing more. It's been tough lately. When I make pottery, I feel like I should be writing. When I write, I feel guilty that I am stepping into the dark again with a new story that may never work out. I feel like I should be making pottery--something that is safe and pays the bills and provides for my family. Man, I really need to find an agent. I feel like if I had an agent, it would give me something sure to hold onto--to somehow legitimize the time I spend writing--as if the 18,000+ books I've sold isn't enough. Faith is a difficult journey, isn't it? My fear of failure, the same fears I have faced since I was a boy, they tend to try to swallow me at times like this. I don't like that. I feel like I have enough ideas for books to keep me busy for the next five years, but I am insecure and weak and faithless. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is so terribly weak sometimes. I wish I had answers, but since I don't, I will carry on, one way or the other, anxious to grasp onto any and every sunbeam that breaks through the clouds of doubt.

New Mugs--fresh from the kiln.

I just came in from unloading the kiln. Many of you have asked from time to time to be notified when I have fresh pots. Well, today is the day! I just unloaded nearly 100 mugs in a huge range of colors. My shelves are full of these beauties. I also did a bunch this time with forget-me-nots on them. I will be around most of next week if you would like to stop by. Call first just to make sure. 801-883-0146. I also unloaded about 25 journey jars. I still need to finish lashing on the handles, and with the need to do another glaze firing, I may not have those done until Thursday.

My son had a Pinewood Derby this morning with the cub scouts. My daughter made a car too. She came in third. He came in twelfth. Any good ideas about teaching boys to be better losers would be greatly appreciated. This has not been my proudest fathering moment. I have a really hard time putting up with poor sportsmanship.

Writing did not go very well this week. I think I am in a bit of a funk, but I am trying to kick it. Looking over my journals from previous years, I realize I don't do February in Utah very well. It makes my wanderlust flair up something fierce. I've got to kick my butt back into gear.

Anyway, happy Saturday. Cheers,

Book Signing/Art Opening this Weekend

I just wanted to let folks know that I will be having a book signing and showing some of my recent pottery work at Evergreen Gallery this Friday, Feb 18th from 6-9 pm. Evergreen Gallery is on 2000 East and almost 3300 South in Salt Lake. It is a beautiful gallery. This friday is Gallery Stroll, so start there and make it a fun, cheap date.

While I'm blogging, I will just say that I am making good progress on my next book. I am now about 60 pages in and it is feeling good. Yesterday, as I was working in the studio, I had a new idea come to me and had to stop to outline another book that I am really excited about. I thought I was done with Niederbipp for a while, but I am really excited that this one will take me back there. I think it will be called The Matchmaker of Niederbipp. It will likely be directed to young would-be lovers, but will have lots of good stuff for those of us already married and wanting to stay that way. This is going to be fun. I am really enjoying writing and hoping to spend more time with it. Boy, I really need to find an agent. Any suggestions from my friends in cyberspace? Cheers. Ben

Progress on the Tundra

There are few things I really enjoy doing when the world is gray and frozen solid. Writing has become one of the few things that makes me happy in such circumstances, but I found another one today which may prove to distract me from my writing. I took my kids out of school today and took them skiing at Park City. They are running an amazing deal for new local skiers--$25 for rentals, a lesson and a lift pass. We decided we couldn't afford not to go. It was cold, but clear, and a lot of fun. I grew up skiing, back when it cost $5 a day for a lift ticket and $5 for rentals. That was in 1981. I was eight when I started and I never had a lesson. My mom took us to the top of the mountain and told us she would see us at the end of the day, back at the car. My younger brothers and I learned how to ski out of desperation and by watching others, trying to keep up with people who were better than us. It worked for us. I'm not sure I would have lasted in lessons, but I also recognize I wouldn't want to teach my kids. I have patience for a lot of things, but I know myself well enough to know that teaching my kids how to ski would not be one of those. It was difficult enough for me to hang out with my wife on the bunny hills all day while she worked on her form. She took her first lesson a few weeks ago. I like steep, fast runs, covered with jumps and chutes and challenging terrain. I used to love to ski moguls, but I realized a few years ago that I am far too fat and old to handle the gut wrenching I used to relish.

I just wanted to let folks know that I am making progress on the next book. I have written about 40 pages and I am happy with what I have so far. The first fifty pages of any book are probably the hardest ones to write--laying the foundation of everything that is built upon it. I remember when I build my studio, I spent about three weeks working on digging the hole, pouring the footings, the foundation, and the slab. The rest of the structure went up in about 3 days. I anticipate that the book will require much longer than three days to finish, but now that the foundation is laid, I hope it will go much quicker. It amazes me how long it takes to research stuff you don't know enough about to make it sound believable. Because I am a potter, the last books were fairly easy to make them sound believable because I had all the info stored in my noodle. Not so with this book. I have no idea how long it might take for this next book to be ready to be released and I am not going to make any promises, but I am enjoying both the process and the research on this one tremendously. I hope you will enjoy the final product.

I mentioned in October that I finally decided to send a query letter to an agent. I waited and waited, but heard nothing despite the fact that her website said she responded within six weeks. I found out three weeks ago that she had never received my letter or the books I sent with it. I promptly sent another. Today, I heard from her assistant that they are reading the books and will get back to me soon!. Okay, so I let out a little yalp. I know that might not mean anything, but I know I have to find an agent if I am to continue this journey. I know the books need to reach a wider, broader audience and I am keenly aware that my one man show is indeed a one man show. I suppose that sounds quite conceded really, considering that I have so many readers who are doing more than amazing things, spreading Niederbipp around the country. I just had a woman last week from Preston, Idaho, home of Napoleon Dynamite, who sent me an order for 43 books. I know I am not alone in this journey and I thank all of you who have helped me to get to this point. So far, we have sold about 18,300 books. That ought to count for something. But the fact is that I am tired and wanting to write more. In addition to the book I am now writing, I have five more books outlined that I think about every day, anxious to get to them, but feeling overwhelmed with everything else I have to do. I need to buy myself some time. I need to feel like I can take the day off from my pottery and just write. As it stands right now, I feel like I need to start getting ready for the art festivals and art shows which have paid for all the books. To date, I have spent more than $85K publishing the trilogy. I have broken even and am now making some money, but I will need to spend another $20K-$60K before summer to replenish my stock. I can't continue to do all of this indefinitely. I know I need a network of publishers and publicists who can help spread the word beyond the intermountain west. I feel like I've only glimpsed the tip of the iceberg. I never wrote these books with the hope of becoming rich, but I knew from the beginning that they would reach a broad audience--and so I must continue to push and hope and pray.

The books continue to sell well on Amazon, thanks in large part to the word of mouth advertising and the positive reviews the book has received. If you enjoyed the books and have yet to review it on Amazon, I invite you to let your voice be heard. Just look up the books on Amazon, then click on the number next to the stars. This will bring up the reviews. There will be a button there that says, Create your own review. If you follow the prompts, it takes only a few minutes but can really make a difference. Thank you in advance for taking the time to do so.

So, I am signing off. I am tired, but I want to write for an hour or so before fatigue overshadows me. It's probably too late to be wishing anyone a happy new year, so I will just say I hope its going well. Keep your chin up and Viva Niederbipp!