Borrowing Fire: Rewriting the Eulogy for a Boy Named Wolf

Well, after two years of intermittent writing and research sending me to 58 funerals for strangers, I have finished the writing portion of this project and am knee deep in editing with plans to begin layout and design on or before October 1 to have the book ready for my December 1, 2012 open house and studio sale.

This book has been a lot of fun. I have shared it with a few close friends and they all like it even better than the Niederbipp trilogy, which is humbling and exciting. I will be posting more in the coming weeks as we continue to make progress, but I just wanted to send this out and say we are getting very close now and I am really excited to share this with you. It has been an inspiring experience to write this book and I think this will be a book you will want to share with everyone you know and love. It would be a great Christmas Gift, but a fine gift for all occasions, filled with lessons of life, hope, love and grace.

Look for more information coming soon, but plan on attending the book launch, December 1, 8 and 15th.  Each of these dates will correspond with my annual Christmas Studio Sale and , back by popular demand, our house tour, where we will open our home to anyone who wants to see what we have done. We remodeled last year, adding on to our home and finishing it with 500 square feet of hand made tiles.  Most of this was completed last year, but I am still working on projects and hope to have it all wrapped up in the next two months.

Thanks for you patience.

Electric Boat on Lake Windemere, July 

Ben

Sometimes it's hard to share a river...

Happy Independence Day! I hope it was swell for you.
We spent the morning at a pancake breakfast at the church, which, for the past 10 years has been followed by a water fight. It is kind of an unusual water fight as the line is generally drawn between my self and my posse of two or three brave souls who wield our water-filled fire extinguishers against the rest of the kids in the neighborhood who are all poor-sports and gang up on the kids who look more like adults—namely us. It was awesome. There is something utterly refreshing about a water fight, especially in July, and today was all that.
We spent the afternoon with family on the Weber River, floating on anything that floats from Hennefer to Taggart, or about 7 miles as the crow flies. For the most part, it was also a refreshing experience, but for the first time in my life, I found myself feeling that it is hard to share a river. It was a strange mix of folks on the river today. Most of them were under thirty, had at least one visible tattoo, had at least one visible piercing, had at least one visible beer in their hand and were very visibly drunk. I found myself wondering if it was a frat party as at least 80% of the folks on the river fit this description.  Am I getting old?  Is it wrong for me to be offended by the exercise of free speech that leaves my children and myself feeling violated, like we were recreating in a polluted river. And lets face it, it was polluted heavily today. With the majority of the folks drinking beer as they floated down the river, I didn't see even one person carrying a tote bag for their empty cans. Instead, those cans went into the river I love.
I have floated this river a few times before, and in those cases, I had the river mostly to myself. It was beautiful. Birds of prey were soaring overhead, deer danced on the banks, trout played in the water. But when you have a gazillion people on the river, the magic of that place cannot be seen. It's hard to share a river with those who don't appreciate it the same way I do. I missed the solitude. I missed the silence. I missed the magic. We had a wonderful time despite the distractions, and we will certainly go again, but next time, I hope those who share the river with me might be more sober, more considerate, more thoughtful.
Have you ever come across a Sprite can or a Coke can in the wilderness? I haven't. But since the time I was a child, I have picked up and packed out hundreds of beer cans left by insensitive travelers who must have been enjoying themselves so much that they forgot that we share the wilderness with everyone, and most of us like not finding other people's garbage in the places we love the most.
I know it's not my river. I know people have every right to dress the way they do and express themselves the way they want, but tonight I am appalled by the growing disrespect and degradation of society. It is hard to share a river with those who don't care for it and love it and respect it enough to leave it better than they found it.

I don't know, maybe I have been reading too much Terry Tempest Williams.

On a positive note, I have been writing—abundantly—and I plan to have the next book done in December, just in time for Christmas.

Niederbipp Goes Full Circle

I received an interesting phone call from Tiengen, Germany last week. My friend Irene Meier, the woman with whom I apprenticed for four months 17 years ago was on the line to tell me that a woman had come into her pottery shop that day with my book in her hand, asking if she knew me.  For those of you who may not be aware, the town I describe as Niederbipp is actually the town of Tiengen, Germany. Niederbipp just had a better name. This woman had been in my shop a few weeks ago, visiting from Seattle and told me she was on her way to Switzerland and was planning on stopping by the real Niederbipp. I suggested she would have more fun going to Tiengen. Anyway, she spent the evening with Irene and her husband Sven. They had dinner together, walked around the town and Irene even took her to the crying tree on the banks of the Rhein.  It is a beautiful place and I would highly recommend visiting it if you are in the Switzerland/Southern Germany area. Stop by the pottery on Zubergasse and you will meet Irene. She may offer you some tea and you can sit down and talk about life and art. It was fun to see that the world is still flat, and not very big.

 I am writing, or pretending to, but I am busy trying to get ready for the Utah Arts Festival which begins on the 21st. I have a lot to do between now and then--many, many pots to fire. I had to rebuild the kiln door after Mother's Day--it got a little too hot and melted, but the kiln is firing well again and I am happy to report there will be lots of new pots and designs at the festival--if all goes as planned. Wish me luck.  Maybe I will see you there.  June 21-24 at Library Square, downtown SLC

You can't write a novel in an afternoon!

I've told myself that a few dozen times over the past year, and yet I still want to believe it. You can read a novel in an afternoon--either a short novel or a long afternoon, but writing takes time. It takes sweat and tears and a whole lot of effort. I used to joke that GoodReads, the website where everyone and their dog can review a book and give their two bits should really be called, "Disgruntled English Majors." I seems everyone who doesn't write has fairly strong opinions about those who do, especially those who write something that gets published. I guess I cant really claim to have gotten anything published since I self-published, but the difficulties in writing can be no less real, regardless of how the book comes to be.

I was excited to get back to writing as soon as the Mother's Day Open House was over. We had nearly a thousand people go through out home over the weekend and I was bushed after that. My kiln had some problems during the final firing before the open house which resulted in part of the door melting and leaving it very difficult to open. I spent a day and a half making the necessary repairs and then dedicated the rest of the week to writing.  Or so I thought. Writing, at least for me requires several consecutive hours of relative silence. Sometimes that is difficult to find. Okay, so maybe that is always difficult to find. I realized I am out of practice and the magic doesn't always happen exactly when I want or need it to happen. I made some progress, but it was slow. It is a little better this week, but if I am not distracted by people dropping by or phone calls, I am distracted by the fact that I have an art festival coming up in a month and I need to replenish my supply of pots. I am behind on orders, too. And I don't care that I'm behind on orders which is both liberating and disappointing. I am distracted--maybe that is the best way to put it. Distracted, feeling like I have returned to my nets after knowing I am supposed to be doing something else. Faith is tough, at least for me, and patience is even harder.

That being said, I am more excited about this story than I have ever been. I know all writers draw on their personal experiences, but I am a little surprised by how autobiographical this book is becoming. Some of it involves dark pieces of history from my younger years and family drama that is still going on. It has made me pensive and moody and somedays has made me want to avoid delving deeper. And yet I know I need to plow on. I feel strongly that this book will help others, offer hope and grace and love, and give people courage to plow forward. I am still hoping to have the book ready for Christmas, but if I don't make some substantial progress in the next few months, I will have to postpone it again.  I hate to do that.

I am not sure why other people write, but I will tell you honestly that I write because I have to--because the voices won't leave me alone--because the story haunts me until I let it out. It is never easy. It seems to always be expensive, and it takes way longer than I think it should.

So, I am off to write. I fed my fears by making pots this morning. Now I can feed my faith, by writing.

Mother's Day Open House This Weekend

It's hard to believe I haven't been here to update the blog in over a month. I should have done this sooner and I am sorry if you missed it because of my lack of communication, but tomorrow begins my

Mother's Day Studio Open House and Home Tour

May 10-12

10am-5pm each day

1150 East 800 South

Salt Lake City, Utah

We have been busy getting the house ready and I have been crazy busy making pots. I just finished my fifth firing of the week and I am bushed. Because of the requests, we are opening our home again for a tour. We refinished our home last year, moving back in just before the holidays. Projects have continued since then and will continue after this open house too. Come and see the 500 square feet of handmade tile scattered throughout our home and take a piece of pottery home for the mom in your life. I will also have the books available and a lot of forget-me-not ware. I hope to see you soon.

Virtual Home Tour

Ben Behunin, Potter / Author, The House That Built Me

A friend of mine came over the other day to film the house and I thought I would pass it on to all of you who aren't in the area. For those of you who are in the Salt Lake City area, we will be having another studio sale/ home tour on May 10, 11, 12. Put it on your calendar. More info will follow soon, but I thought this might be of some interest. Cheers, Ben

Check out the City Weekly Article

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-414-15573-the-house-that-built-me-page-1.html

I don't know what to say...

...so I may ramble a bit for a while until I figure it out. The writing was going very well there for about a week and then I realized how far behind I was in my preparations for Art and Soup, which takes place next week at the Sheridan down town. I also have a one man show opening at the Loge Gallery at the Pioneer Memorial Theater on the U of U campus starting at the end of the month. I am running far behind for everything, so needless to say, the book will not be done in time for Mother's Day this year, but I believe I can complete it by this fall.

That makes me sad to admit that. In some ways, I feel like I have failed, not in any personal goal sense, but in that I know this book will have some power to help lift and inspire, and those that may need it now will have to wait. I don't like that.

I received a phone call this morning from a woman who asked me to come and speak to a youth group in June. I speak to youth groups regularly. She felt like my message might offer hope to the youth of her community who have seen two of their peers end their lives with suicide in the past two weeks. I am saddened by that. I am saddened to think what might cause a young person to put such a permanent end to a likely temporary problem. This woman was the third person in as many days who has spoken to me about loved ones who have recently committed suicide. What a tragic way to deal with the trials of life. I believe the lessons of this book will help those who struggle with such challenges and I know I have to write it, I know I have to push on. I know that sometimes all we need is glimmer of hope to turn our lives around and face the sun.

Three women stopped by today to purchase a gift for a mutual friend of theirs whose twenty-two year old son recently ended his life. They were looking for a journey jar and found one, but when I showed them some of my latest work for the Loge Gallery show, they fell in love with a beautiful bowl and had to take that too. There is a bright sun in the middle and then written around the sun, it says, "Let us pause in Life's trials to stop and face the sun which is always shining for those with open eyes--look, search, discover.

Years ago, while traveling in an airplane, I was struck with the truth that above the clouds, the sun is always shining, and that if we will open our eyes and rise above the clouds, life is always bright and exciting. Depression is a powerful force that seems to use fear to hold us down and suffocate us. I am reminded of one of my favorite scriptures, 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of Fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." Fear has no place in the things of God. If we could all turn to love and embrace it and spread it around, I am convinced our world would be a gentler place and fear and the darkness surrounding it would lose its power. So, maybe that what this post is all about, that I needed to remind myself to embrace that which is good and true and light, and let the rest fall by the wayside.

Press on.

PS, Save the date for the Mother's Day open house/ home tour May 10-12 10 am-5pm each day, here at the studio.

Another Day, Another Funeral

So, this was a good week on the writing front. I set aside more time to get through some of the hard things to write and I feel like I made some progress. It is so hard to spend hours on one paragraph and then end up scrapping it because it doesn't end up working for where it is supposed to go. There have been many times in the past months that I feel like I am wasting time, spinning my wheels and not making any progress, but I feel like I have been given this story and though it would be far easier to give up and just make pottery, I know I am not supposed to. I know I couldn't be happy if I did.

I had a couple of random visitors this week who just dropped by while I was writing. I feel like the universe sent them to help me realize I need to write this book, that people need it. It was a humbling experience to see that the very thing we were talking about was the thing I had been writing about. I am convinced that we are all connected. We are all trying the best we can to make it through this life, bumping along the road, trying to make sense of it all. I am glad to be a writer and in the coming weeks, hope to make much more progress. Thanks for your encouraging words. They keep me going when I don't feel like it. They give me perspective. Thank you.

Slow, but steady.

I think I am beginning to understand why it took me eleven years to write my first book when the second and third took only 9 months each. It takes a huge amount of time to lay the foundation for a book, especially one that requires research. That, and overcoming new fears. I think I have written about this before on previous blogs, but after seeing how people have loved the Niederbipp Trilogy, I find myself feeling very careful and sensitive to realities that people have an expectation of me and my writing. I don't want to let anyone down. I don't think I will with this next one, but I recognize how careful I have to be. To be honest, I am not sure why anyone writes. I have spoken of this several times in the book clubs I speak to, but when I write, I am bearing part of my soul. These books are my babies, and none of us like to be told we have ugly babies. I worry about how things will be taken and understood and how it will reflect on how I am viewed as a writer. It is kind of like standing naked in the middle of a sports arena, and singing the national anthem. And so, with this in mind, I am moving forward, trying to keep the distractions at bay, and realizing it is rather unlikely that I will complete this book by May as I originally hoped, but it will be this year sometime, and I think you will like it.

I have also been thinking a lot about my work as a potter. It is my first love, working with clay, getting my hands dirty, making stuff that people like. It has been a wonderful life, but more and more, I am feeling a need to write more. I currently have six books that I have outlined, that I think about nearly every day and I find myself wondering how I will ever get them written if I spend all my days making pottery. For the longest time, I believed my calling in life was to be an artist and make the world a more beautiful place, but since writing the Niederbipp Trilogy and witnessing how the written word has the ability to make the world a more beautiful place by inspiring the minds of people to make it so, I find myself facing the reality that maybe there is more than one art form that I need to pursue. It's too bad that life is so short and that my mind is weak and my body tires and needs to rest. I look forward to a time when such silly things will not bog me down and have power over my body.